This is not the end yet

Been slacking at home for exactly one month.
This month is not easy for me, holidays is not as good as you imagined.
Last summer i was working in a pharmacy, expecting nothing in return, not even money.
Fortunately, you often gain more when you expect less. Words cannot express how grateful i am to be able to work there.
This year summer, i was expecting myself to work in pharmacy again, but ended up staying at home.
I should have started my work, if only if I don't have scoliosis.
Because of this hereditary disease, I need to go for treatment at least twice a week and this makes me unable to go for work.
The treatment now comes to an end but it is too late for a part time worker like me to search a job.
I admit I am choosy when searching for jobs. I don't want to work in field that is not related to my field of study, like fashion etc.
I am 20. I am a big girl. I know money doesn't come in an easy way. If you want to spend money you gotta get it yourself.
Just when i was about to accept the fate that staying at home to do self-study is my only option, here comes the haze.
I was so furious and couldn't understand why there are people like to do things that will harm themselves and others. I can never understand.
Apparently I am not the only victim of this haze. But you know what? this haze is like the second fate that I need to accept beside the jobless life. I never feel so helpless before.
Masks are out of stock. Everyone is living with fear. When can this haze end?
It makes me sick and yet there is nothing i can do to stop the haze.
We're like every single alphabet inside a book; every chapter represents different countries; and the book is our universe. Do you see how tiny and how helpless we are? being trapped inside a sentence or line that we can never escape.
Never take things for granted. I now know that the fresh air you breath in every minute is a gift from God. Cherish it with all your soul. Light the candle instead of cursing the darkness.
So here comes the third strike : the second accident in my life.
It happened when I was assisting my sis to drive ( fyi, she is first time learner) It happened in just a blink of an eye and i couldn't do anything to stop the accident to happen.
After all, I was the one to be blamed  because of my ignorance and inexperience. I can't help but think of the first accident that i thought i've already let go. Emotional trauma is hard to be cured. It takes time and I think I need more time.
I am not a weak person, emotionally and mentally. But having went through all these, I was nearly at the edge of breaking down. It is the prayers and positive thoughts that keeps me moving.
I believe this is not the end of the road. These are the challenges i must endure in order to see the rainbow.
Pray hard, live now, hope for tomorrow.